Last Week Tonight with John Oliver 12×3

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Bem -vindo a "Na semana
passada hoje à noite".

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I'm John Oliver, thank
you so much for joining us.

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Foi uma semana movimentada!

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Andrew Cuomo announced
his candidacy for New York

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mayor, a 19 dollars strawberry
went viral on

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social media, and in California,
the Silicon

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Valley Auto Show touted something
that sounded incredible.

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Não há escassez de carros de aparência

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impressionante aqui com todo tipo de

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tecnologia inovadora, mas um dos que recebem

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mais atenção neste show de automóveis é o carro voador do Alef.

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It's a regular electric vehicle, with one more

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function which none of the cars here have.

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Na verdade, pode decolar
verticalmente e voar para frente.

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Okay.
 First, let's deal with the car.

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É um pouco decepcionante.

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When I pictured what flying cars
would look like in the

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future, I imagined little rockets with
leather seats and

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drink fridges, not something that looks
like Lightning

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McQueen got canceled and rebounded by
starting his own energy drink company.

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E quanto a esse cara, se ele fosse até mim e me

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oferecesse uma carona em um carro voador, eu

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apenas assumiria que ele estava tentando me vender Molly

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E nem mesmo bom Molly.

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And if he looks at all to you
like a seventh-rate DJ

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who goes by "DJ Wizard" and put
out a song called

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"Sex Machine" that amassed 115 views on YouTube
over

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nine years, that's only because
that is exactly who he is.

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E você deve saber que pelo menos 50 dessas

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visões foram provavelmente nossas nesta semana.

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Because let's all take a quick listen.

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Fresco.

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Embora você saiba quem não precisaria
anunciar que eles são uma máquina de sexo?

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An actual sex machine. Todo mundo sabe que uma verdadeira máquina de

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sexo é respeitável, profissional e focada em seu programa de TV semanal.

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I'm of course referring
to Noah Wyle.

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E se, neste momento, você estiver tendo alguma dúvida

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sobre esse carro voador, devo observar, eles concederam

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à mídia algum acesso limitado com a ênfase em "limitados".

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NBC News was given exclusive access to

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see their concept model with our own eyes.

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Com certeza, vimos subir pelo

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ar, sobre outro carro e terra.

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But for all the magic of this moment, we were heavily

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restricted, forced to shoot at least half a football field away,

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E na verdade nunca vimos o
motorista entrando ou saindo do veículo.

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Yeah, 50 yards away
and no visible driver.

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Temos certeza de que é um carro voador, não
apenas um drone em uma fantasia de carro?

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Because I have about as much faith in that safely delivering

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me from one place to another as I currently have in Delta Airlines.

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Enquanto isso, o governo Trump teve mais uma

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semana de horrores, de Trump impulsionando um

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vídeo gerado pela IA imaginando o futuro de Gaza,

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apresentando um pouco mais de Elon humano,

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desfrutando de hummus, estátuas de Gold Trump e

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Trump e Netanyahu tomando goles e mostrando beliscões pela piscina.

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Yet somehow, that still wasn't the most shocking

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incident to come out of the White House this week.

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Essa seria a reunião desastrosa de sexta -feira com a

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Volodymyr Zelensky no Salão Oval, que saiu dos trilhos

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depois que JD Vance sugeriu a Ucrânia Try Diplomacy,

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Zelensky rebateu que a Rússia havia quebrado um cessar

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-fogo antes e as coisas rapidamente se escalaram de lá.

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You don't have
the cards right now.

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Conosco, você começa a ter cartões.

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I'm not playing cards. Estou
muito falando sério, Sr. Presidente.

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Estou muito sério.

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You're gambling with the
lives of millions of people.

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Você está jogando com a
Segunda Guerra Mundial.

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And what you're doing
is very disrespectful to

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the country, this country, that's backed you far

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more than a lot of people
said they should have.

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Você disse "obrigado" uma
vez? This entire meeting?

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A reunião desastrosa terminou.

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The planned
press conference was canceled.

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E Zelensky e sua comitiva foram
instruídos a deixar a Casa Branca.

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"Come back," they were told by the secretary

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of state, "when you're ready for peace."

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Trump mais tarde partiu para um fim
de semana na Flórida, tendo dito sua peça.

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This is gonna be great
television, I will say that.

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Bem, isso depende.  Is watching
the president shit on a

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weaker ally for not wanting to be conquered,
while his

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goon VP tries to see if he can wrap his lips
around his

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boss's asshole from a neighboring
couch good television?

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Eu argumentaria que é mais "acerte sua

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TV com um martelo até que a dor pare",

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mas as pessoas razoáveis ​​podem discordar.

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The whole spectacle was awful.

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A embaixadora ucraniana nos
EUA estava com a cabeça nas mãos.

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Marco Rubio parecia estar tentando
ativamente afundar dentro do sofá.

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And for what it's worth, Zelensky
has thanked Americans and the U.S.

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33 times at the very least,
which feels like enough.

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Ele não deveria ser constantemente instado a dizer

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"obrigado", ele é um presidente no meio de uma

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guerra, não uma criança abrindo um presente de Mee

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