1 00:00:00,617 --> 00:00:03,358 ♪ 2 00:00:03,690 --> 00:00:04,970 I feel like I have boogers. 3 00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:06,970 Eu tenho tempo para girar o foguete? Oh, we're on?! 4 00:00:07,140 --> 00:00:09,710 Olá. Estou aqui relatando ao vivo on the eve 5 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:11,840 of the Virgin Games, where 50 virgins will 6 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,750 compete and the biggest loser será nosso vencedor. 7 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,590 But how did we get here? 8 00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:20,550 <i>Em 1863, Virgin Elsinore Crupp was to be</i> 9 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:22,240 <i>sacrificed by our forefathers in the hopes of</i> 10 00:00:22,330 --> 00:00:25,020 <i>putting an end to Um fim de semana particularmente ventoso.</i> 11 00:00:25,250 --> 00:00:26,670 <i>However, her beheading was botched, and</i> 12 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:29,250 <i>for three days straight, Ela amaldiçoou</i> 13 00:00:29,270 --> 00:00:31,750 nossa cidade, e é por isso que hoje our 14 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:33,420 murder rate is so high and our internet so laggy. 15 00:00:33,510 --> 00:00:36,260 <i>Desde então, Elsinore's refusal to obey her</i> 16 00:00:36,420 --> 00:00:38,270 <i>elders has made her a cult icon to Quem já</i> 17 00:00:38,430 --> 00:00:40,430 <i>conheceu um boomer, giving Grimsburg the</i> 18 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:43,600 <i>largest virgin population Fora do Toontown do Mickey.</i> 19 00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:45,105 And here's one of her fans now 20 00:00:45,106 --> 00:00:47,880 already lined up para entrar primeiro. 21 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:50,690 Sir, how are you honoring virgens hoje? 22 00:00:50,860 --> 00:00:52,180 Will you be watching Zack Snyder's 23 00:00:52,210 --> 00:00:54,610 director's cut of "Justice League"? 24 00:00:54,630 --> 00:00:55,700 Senhor? 25 00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:57,700 [Boom] 26 00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,950 I guess we'll never know. 27 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:04,120 De volta para vocês no estúdio, whose jobs I deeply covet. 28 00:01:04,210 --> 00:01:06,800 Você sabe, eu só ... I'm just gonna snot rocket. 29 00:01:06,970 --> 00:01:09,250 [Tocação de música temática] 30 00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:17,460 ♪ 31 00:01:25,810 --> 00:01:26,810 [Estalido] 32 00:01:28,980 --> 00:01:30,490 ♪ 33 00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:31,900 KANG: You OK, Flute? 34 00:01:32,250 --> 00:01:33,670 Você parece estar bebendo compulsivamente more than usual. 35 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,520 Flauta: não muito great options tonight. 36 00:01:35,750 --> 00:01:37,250 Até os óculos de cerveja aren't working. 37 00:01:37,340 --> 00:01:40,180 Hora de algum licor lasik. 38 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,030 Ooh! Confira -a. 39 00:01:42,260 --> 00:01:44,870 Incorrectly buttoned cardigan, rímel meio gritado, 40 00:01:45,030 --> 00:01:46,760 cartão de crédito preso a the back of her thigh. 41 00:01:46,780 --> 00:01:48,850 Parece que acabei de encontrar the love of my night. 42 00:01:48,950 --> 00:01:51,280 Kang: Talvez seja hora de abandonar the one-night stands, 43 00:01:51,450 --> 00:01:53,780 try connecting with someone em um nível mais profundo. 44 00:01:53,860 --> 00:01:56,210 FLUTE: That's rich, coming from alguém que mora 45 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:58,315 sozinho, não namora e se recusa to hang out with me 46 00:01:58,316 --> 00:02:00,270 on the weekends even Embora qualquer idiota pudesse 47 00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:01,970 ver que teríamos um tempo adorável on a tandem bike. 48 00:02:02,030 --> 00:02:04,290 Kang: Meu estilo de vida solitário é uma escolha. 49 00:02:04,460 --> 00:02:06,580 As an immortal, I've made conexões mais do que suficientes 50 00:02:06,604 --> 00:02:10,220 ao longo dos séculos. I'm all por pequenas conversas e orgasmos. 51 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,230 - FLUTE: That can happen? - Kang: Pode ... 52 00:02:12,380 --> 00:02:15,800 if you live long enough e pareça tão bom. 53 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:17,470 [Bar music playing] 54 00:02:17,620 --> 00:02:21,130 Flauta: Vou f
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